Mie ... My Own Enemy

When some people said the worst enemy is yourself ... I think they are right. These few days I have been battling with my insecurities, laziness, procrastination and sudden low self-esteem. Just because, I was so not up to driving in Brisbane. 

I don't like driving to be honest and I don't like driving big cars. I would say my driving skills are among the WORLD best (hahahaha considering I had been driving in Malaysia's worst traffic cities) but I just don't like driving and it always made me stressful having to drive to work or running errands etc. The funny thing was, the other day when my friend drove me from my Sir Fred Schonell Drive to Kenmore, I felt like taking over the wheel.

Looking back, those years when I used to take bus or taxi to work in Damansara, I couldn't wait to own a car. How cool I would look driving in my sunnies hehehe. But finally when I owned one, reality began to sink in. It took me 6 months (hmm maybe less) to gain the confidence to drive away from the usual route to work. However, to my surprise, I met a friend who had stayed in Kuala Lumpur much earlier than me, love driving, but never venture out from Puchong. By the time we reunited, I already had Froggy for 3 years and Klang Valley was just at the end of my fingertips (and that includes Shah Alam, Bukit Beruntung, Kuala Kubu Baru, Sungai Buluh as well as Putrajaya and its surroundings). Thanks to family members who often request for favours and thought KL is like Simanggang hahaha

Last night I couldn't sleep. Worrying if I couldn't handle the rented car and the GPS. Wondering where to go with the car after the pick-up (yes ... I  decided to pick up a day earlier). Honestly I was baffled myself, this was not my first time driving in Brisbane!!! Guess what, I prayed to God ... seeking His divine intervention in this stupidity. And yes ... it worked. At least this morning I find myself got up, took my bath and head for the city ... stress free but blank!

Another surprise awaited when I arrived at Thrifty counter at Brisbane International Airport terminal. Instead of giving me the Toyota Corolla hatchback compact car that I booked, they decided to give me a bigger, and sportier car ...Mitsubishi Lancer .... hohoho. I just don't like sedan car! Somehow I didn't complain and accepted it.

Having said that ... that little White Baby and me click off immediately. I took a few minutes to get myself familiarised with the "mechanics" , shortly after I found myself cruising to Sunnybank despite forgetting to adjust the rear and side mirror (and put the auto gear on 2 instead of D which made loud sound when I hit the pedal). Felt like taiko pulak ...

Sunnybank gave me another challenge ... parking space during lunch time! Oh damn. Never knew this place is a HIT during lunch. Put on my KL driver cap and voilaaaaa ... parking was a breeze and sangatttttt kemas berbanding orang sebelah! Minor adjustment later, me and White Baby felt like me and Froggie! Yes, my baby is in good care of my sis.

Few hours later, I arrived in Kenmore with White Baby, with renewed confidence and plans to visit Ipswich and Toowomba tomorrow! Excited, excited! Okay guys ... meet White Baby 832. Sure kena loteri esok!

Macam la kereta sendiri kannnn .... kalau kat Malaysia tak mampu mak nak bawak Lancer uolsss

A Year In Brisbane

I had been wanting to update this blog since beginning of the Winter Semester Break. However, small little things caused me to procrastinate. One of it is ... I don't know what to write. The usual excuse, I know. As I read through my previous posts, how it was apparent to me how less and less creative I had been.

Having said that, I thank two courses last semester that inspired me to write again. I realised writing, particularly "reflective writing" is one of my strengths. In fact, it helped me through my courses this semester. It helped me to organise my throughts, provided me the "mission" and "aim" for my research and most important of all, ignite some passion on topics I find boring. I don't remember which famous classic actress that said this but it has something to do with "you need to fall in love a bit with your co-star in order to nail the love scene"... does it make sense?

I contributed "expectation not met" as one of the main reasons I seemed quite lost this one year. Despite many wonderful (as well as terrible) things happened throughout this one year .... it failed to give me the profound impact that urge me to write about it. I love sharing it on Facebook anyway. Yeaaa ... I find micro-blogging via Facebook stimulating. Maybe because I got feedback almost immediately.

Another reason, I have to admit, is I began to question the definition of friend. Do you really know your friend? I experienced a very sad situation recently that made me questions this. Is your friend a friend if he/she befriend you to dig your dirt and used it against you? I am not proud what I did in retaliation ... digging his/her dirt and used it against him/her. On top of that, prior to moving to Brisbane, my professional career expanded to a point that I began to witness "unwanted interest" on my personal life. 

The funny thing is ... my life is an open book, I shared almost everything on social media but looking at how a person mind can be distorted by self interest be it political, ego, religions etc etc ... I began to wonder about my honest intention to share about my life. I began to fear writing and sharing too much especially nowadays your good intention may be "misinterpreted" or turn into "accusation/lies". Looking at Malaysia and Malaysians today ... "whatever you say will be used against you". It is very sad as life used to inspire me with its many mysteries, the unknown and the possibilities. 

Coming back to this blog somehow reminded me on why I started it many years ago, and why many people visited it. I told myself, it was meant to share positive matters, issues, opinions plus happiness ... not ignite hatred, spreading malicious lies, or condemnation. I am a Malaysian, with a mind of my own and entitle to my opinion. You may agree or disagree with me.

I thank friends and readers of this blog for your support. I will restart again ... this time with renewed spirit and energy.

29.02.2012

Hari ini memang hari yang sangat istimewa. Sesiapa yang lahir hari ini hanya akan mengalami "penuaan" sekali dalam empat tahun. Hebat kan? Penulis pernah berangan nak kahwin pada tarikh ni ... jadi setiap kali tarikh itu tiba ibarat pengantin baru sekali lagi hahahaha (sayang tak pernah jadi kenyataan pun).

Maaflah sebab penulis mengambil masa 30 minit daripada waktu bekerja untuk mengarang nukilan ni. Bukan apa, hari ini penulis ada mesyuarat sepanjang pagi jadi tadi pening sikit lepas baca agenda. Biar terurai sikit kekusutan di minda ini. 

Okaylah, di hari yang istimewa ini penulis nak berkongsi tentang hasad dengki. Kenapa? Sebenarnya topik ini bermain di minda penulis sejak pagi tadi ketika menghirup teh tarik mamak yang telah diadun dengan "resipi tambahan" dan menjadi kegilaan warga kota di pagi hari (hahahaha). Kenapa hasad dengki makin menular di kalangan masyarakat kita sekarang ni? Adakah tuntutan kehidupan yang semakin mencabar? Adakah sebab terlalu taksub dengan pangkat dan kekayaan? Adakah disebabkan harga minyak bakal naik lagi? Adakah disebabkan NKEA tidak mencapai sasaran? Atau saja-saja nak merasa hasad dengki sebab nak tukar mood? Hahaha ... apa-apa pun, manusia sekarang semakin pelik.

Macam-macam cara dan kaedah orang melaksanakan perasaan hasad dengki ini dengan jayanya. Ada dengan kaedah moden dan canggih (sebar fitnah melalui laman sesawang, rangkaian sosial, forum internet dan media massa). Ada yang melaksanakan dengan kaedah yang dramatik dan penuh suspens (buat demonstrasi jalanan, upah pembunuh upahan, simbah cat atau asid). Ada pulak yang menggunakan kaedah yang tradisional dan penuh mistik (hantar penuju, santau, sihir atau letak tangkal). Tak kurang juga yang melaksanakan perasaan ini secara psikologi (tahan kenaikan pangkat, mengaibkan rakan sekerja, menambah beban kerja).

Kadang-kadang penulis tertanya. Adakah sesiapa yang memiliki perasaan hasad dengki ini setelah melaksanakan segala kaedah di atas akan mencapai kegembiraan, kenikmatan atau kepuasan yang didambakan? Tidak takutkah balasan di akhirat nanti? Atau benarkah teori Charles Darwin iaitu "survival of the fittest" dalam The Origin of Species? Atau manusia pada zaman ini memilih untuk tidak mengakui kewujudan Tuhan atau Yang Maha Kuasa?

Nasihat penulis - bersukacita lah dengan segala yang telah dikurniakan dan diberikan kepada kita setiap hari. Kegembiraan adalah ibarat nasi kosong dengan kicap yang mampu membangkitkan selera yang tak dapat digambarkan dengan kata-kata (tak dapat nak fikir perumpaan lain). Sentiasa beringat ... tak semestinya ada hari esok untukmu.

Sunday Rendezvous on 08.01.2012 @Straits Quay

2 years back, my weekends in KL usually will be full of self pampering, sometimes reading, sometimes watching movies ... at times wondering and questioning why my life was so "miserable" (hehehe this one usually during the full moon lah").

I am entering my third year in Penang but I haven't quite yet settle to have that special weekend rendezvous apart from breakfast at Ayer Itam market with Aunty Rose or with Daddy at Chowrasta, followed later by sleeping marathon. Kalau rajin ... do my laundry or clean my room. Yes, my free weekends are usually boring. Main reason ... malas nak driving, secondly sleep is such a luxury nowadays. 

Anyway, after reading the Happiness Project book (will share after finish reading it) ... I somehow know that I must fight my "lazy" and "negative" self. Kena overcome lah jugak that "malasness", else the next day menyesal tak sudah ... why on earth I didn't do this or do that. So, after a late breakfast and after doing some houseworks, I decided to go to Straits Quay. My body was aching all over, especially the shoulder area .. these past few days plus my friend Vincent informed me the other day that Thai Odyssey - my favourite massage center had just opened an outlet in Straits Quay. Makinlah body ache tu menjadi-jadi pulak. Sesuatu sangat ...

By the way, Straits Quay is a not so new marina retail area in Tanjung Tokong which belongs to the Eastern and Oriental Group (E&O). It housed few great restaurants, pubs and retail outlets mainly to attract the expatriates, young professionals and the higher income society of Penang. Having said that, from my observation ... the price are quite affordable lah, for Penang standard, especially when people don't come to Penang to shop for luxurious goods.

View of the main retail and apartment buildings from the marina.

With Hazel during her last visit to Penang in October 2011.

The traffic was quite smooth from Ayer Itam to Tanjung Tokong as compared to during the last school holidays. Yelaaa ... nak gi Batu Feringgi, nak gi Gurney Drive, nak gi Botanic Gardens semua pakai jalan yang sama. Poning kepalo den... though I was happy to see tourists flocked the island. Parking spaces were plenty in Straits Quay, in fact I could see many eateries were empty. Couldn't help but love the low season hehehe .. I could also easily locate the Thai Odyssey as the streamers, posters and signages were everywhere. Not much difference from it's other branches that I had frequented in terms of deco and furniture arrangement, except I noticed that all of the treatment rooms (around 6-8 I guess) have proper massage beds.

Streamer .. besar lagi tu kata awarded by Ministry of Tourism as Best Family Spa 2010. 

Poster Iklan.

Some of the treatments and bodyworks offered. Anyway I still think that they give great Thai massages.

Deco along the corridor leading to the spa centre.

Haha terkujat akak masa ambik gambar pintu spa ni.

The signature foot bath before starting the massage session. Posted this on FB and friends instantly recognised the white pebbles.

A proper massage bed.  In fact, for spa rating purposes ... a proper massage bed is a requirement.

The actual deco ... sempat curi-curi snap bilik sebelah hehehe

The therapist whom attended to me was quite nervous, judging from her slow strokes and hesitation. But she got great thumbs. I love the fact that she focused more on pressure points and deep tissue massage than the usual kneading, fast strokes and "eksesai" (my usual masseur Tuk Tuk @Thai Odyssey Mines would said it to refer to the bending/muscle pulling sessions). Maybe because I was already used to Swedish massage of Teratak Spa, that focuses on pressure points which is great for tired muscles. Few times I felt myself "blackout" ... Anyway, I went out from the centre ... satisfied. All my tired muscles were gone.

My next stop was Delicious, a quite well known restaurant with outlets in One Utama and Bangsar Village. I was not really thinking of trying out the dine it menu but was looking for something I had been searching for in Penang for the last few months - the Red Velvet Cake hehehe. 

Anyway, the quest for Red Velvet cake began after watching DC Cupcakes on Astro. In one of the series, during Valentines the shop best seller was the Red Velvet Cupcakes. It sounded so sexy and so I was wondering how it might taste like. After weeks of searching, I finally tasted my first Red Velvet from Buttermilk in Damansara Uptown followed by a cafe in Bangsar Village.Unfortunely, the Delicious Red Velvet Cupcake with Cream Cheese Frosting was a bit dry and slighty floury ... a let down!

Yeaaaa ... finally. My first red velvet cupcake in Penang. Unfortunately the taste was so-so. Cost me RM 6.90.

Though the search was for Red Velvet Cake (or cupcake) ... something else also caught my attention. I didn't share that I was so into Pavlova and Meringue back in 2007 right hehehe ... I am soooooo going to try that Lemon Meringue Pie on my next outing.

The Berrylicious Chocolate Pavlova ... RM 13.90 each.

I tapau the Pavlova home ... sooo yummy!

Kesan from my expert drift on the way home hehehe

After feasting my eyes to all the yummy dessert I headed towards Papparich Restaurant with the intention to make Pappa richer by having Chicken Rice and White Coffee.

After lunch I felt like having something cool that I could enjoy while watching the view at the marina. It was either gelato or frozen yogurt, but my sudden health conscious self won over and so I headed to Fruuze Frozen Yogurt next door and got myself Mango flavoured frozen yogurt with 2 toppings. Cost about RM 9.00 for a small cup.

I prefer Tutti Fruitti but for now, makanlah apa-apa yang ada.

My Mango Frozen Yogurt with 2 toppings - small cup RM 9.00.

I chosed chocolate pieces and some chopped mango flesh as toppings.

It had been a long day and where else should I enjoy my frozen yogurt other than the marina. The weather was great!

(Sigh ...) Should do this more often!

Little Thing That Made Your Day

My dad and I were having breakfast at our usual coffee shop last week when we got acquainted with this lovely dame. She was screaming her heart out seeking for everyone's attention and was seated right behind me. Unfortunately, Coffee Shop Uncle and Aunty (whom babysat her) were too busy attending to other customers.  So the "lovely" auntie with her camera took the opportunity to snap her photos ... Enjoy!

"Lovely Aunty ... pick me pick me ... let me out from this misery"

"Lovely Aunty ... what are you doing? What is that thing that you aim at me?"

"Hahaha ... now I know what's going on ... quick take my cute pose"

Note: To the parents of this cute baby girl... sorry for taking her photos without permission. She was too cute to resist.

2.0.1.2

Tiada perancangan sebenarnya nak mengisi ruangan blog ini yang telah lama "gersang" dengan berita terkini hiburan sensasi. Bukan tiada bahan untuk dijadikan nukilan tapi kekangan masa dan situasi penulis di mana kalau cerita banyak-banyak apa yang dibuat kat Penang ni, nanti dijadikan isu pula oleh pihak-pihak yang tidak bertanggungjawab .. paham-paham sendiri lah yer.

Mungkin tahun ni bakal berubah sedikit pendekatan penulis. Penulis merancang untuk lebih aktif untuk berkongsi pengalaman dan pandangan memandangkan kontrak penulis mungkin berakhir tahun ini dan kalau disambung pun penulis tidak merancang untuk tinggal lama kerana penulis merancang untuk menimba ilmu di tahap yang lebih tinggi dalam bidang perancangan pelancongan. Penulis sanggup lepaskan peluang pada tahun lepas kerana penulis tidak mahu tersilap langkah tambahan pula, sepanjang 7 tahun penulis bertugas di Kementerian lama ... bidang tugas penulis skopnya sungguh besar dan banyak cabangan maka kalau nak buat Ijazah Sarjana ... penulis sendiri pun tak pasti mana yang harus penulis fokus.

Kalau fokus pengurusan projek - penulis bukannya berjawatan jurutera, kalau nak fokus pentadbiran tanah - penulis hanya terlibat dalam satu skop pentadbiran tanah. Kalau nak fokus berhubung pengurusan hartanah - itu bukan salah satu bidang PTD ... walaupun sepanjang penulis di KPKT ramai pegawai-pegawai senior menjadi kenalan penulis kerana masalah perumahan termasuklah pegawai khas kepada salah seorang pegawai tertinggi dalam perkhidmatan awam.

Pokoknya ... bukan pokok kelapa sawit ... tiba-tiba rasa kelakar pulak kalau diterjemahkan dalam bahasa Inggeris ... "The tree is ..."

Pokoknya ... 2012 merupakan tahun di mana penulis berhasrat untuk mengembangkan pengetahuan intelektual dan akademik penulis. Semuanya bermula bila pakcik penulis meninggal tanggal 24 Disember lalu, beliau telah meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam kepada penulis. Sebenarnya penulis lama terpisah dengan mendiang pakcik penulis dan hanya bertemu beberapa tahun yang lalu. Penulis tidak begitu mengenali beliau kecuali perjuangan beliau terhadap kaum Penan di Sarawak.

Tetapi mendiang pakcik penulis dan penulis sememangnya ada hubungan istimewa di mana kami sama-sama menghormati pengetahuan dan pandangan kritikal masing-masing. Kalau ke rumah mendiang, penulis memang akan ada "witty debate" dengan pakcik penulis. Terus terang, disebabkan mendiang pakcik penulis ... penulis memaksa diri membaca akhbar dan majalah isu semasa.

Semasa pra-pengkebumian mendiang, penulis agak terkejut bila ramai tetamu yang hadir merupakan golongan cerdik pandai, cendikiawan dan pendukung badan-badan bukan kerajaan yang terkenal di Pulau Pinang. Penulis pernah berurusan dengan mereka sepanjang bertugas di sini dan penulis seboleh-bolehnya cuba untuk mengelakkan diri daripada mereka. Mereka juga terkejut dengan kehadiran penulis dan ingin tahu apakah hubungan penulis dengan mendiang. Mungkin yang paling sukar untuk dipercayai ialah bagaimana 2 individu yang mempunyai personaliti berbeza mempunyai pertalian darah.

Jawapan penulis ringkas : "That side of the family tackle an issue by thinking and analysing too much ... but this side of the family who will get it solved and done".  Agak benar jugak ...

2.0.1.1 ... terus terang merupakan tahun di mana penulis mengesahkan sejauh mana keupayaan penulis mengendalikan satu jabatan, merancang program berkait pelancongan di satu negeri dan melaksanakan dasar negara di peringkat negeri. Terus terang penulis sangat-sangat berpuas hati dan 2.0.1.2 merupakan kesinambungan Bahagian Kedua siri pengembaraan kerjaya penulis di Pulau Pinang tapi seperti yang penulis janjikan ... penulis akan berkongsi pengalaman dan idea itu dalam blog ini, bukannya memendamkannya ...

Life is A Divine Chaos

... and my Inspration Pad today ask me to "embrace it! Breathe and enjoy the ride" ... 

I don't know how to response to this "divine chaos ... because for once the chaos that is entering my life right now is simply not divine and I will definitely cannot breathe and totally would not enjoy the ride!

Jason's wedding is drawing near, our office account need to be "closed", projects need to be on advance stage but people keep coming for unnecessary funding, school holidays is coming and the weather is slowing down the progress on site!

Suddenly I feel so sad!

Friends Are Friends Forever

I think many of us remember this song ... quite famous gospel song in the late 90s. By the way, I would like to share this song as I have finally found and make great friends here in Penang. I mean real friends ... not friends with benefit ... (or sex friends hahaha). These are friends that will always support and be there for me. Friends that will protect and watch my back. Friends who have the same passion and believe in what matter most. But the mosttttttttttt important of all ... friends of the same age group hahahahahaha

Bukan apa lah ... before meeting these new friends ... the two person closest to me seorang teruna senja and seorang pulak andalusia. Dua-dua pun dah nak dekat umur persaraan (sebelum dilanjutkan ke 60 tahun)

I was never short of meeting people that would want to be acquainted with me or from the same social background or social circle. However, I always feel empty inside ... or not that interested to meet them for social outings or non work related. However, lately I have been laughing my heart out ... or found myself burst to guffaw of laughters. Even the Dzi beads seller or auntie who sell me wantan mee will smile widely when they saw me hahaha.

Now I have great friends that I can talk about food. Also friends to talk about arts and culture. To link this together, I have good friend who is a journalist, editor and my unofficial source on information who's who. I also have close friend in event management, an owner of the most important tourism hub in Mainland Penang, another one who always scold me like a senior boss but when we never see each other for a time ... will call me instead and say ... "what happened to you ... I miss you, you know" hahaha

Most important of all ... let say one day someone suddenly asked you ... "Can I kiss you?" at least you can have someone to share it with or analysed whether this guy was in his right mind or not. Hahahaha

Let's admit it ... without a friend by your side be it your family members, your spouse, your colleagues or even a stranger whom you befriended... it can be tough to walk this life with all its challenges, turmoils and trials. Don't live in isolation...

And I thank God from the bottom of my heart for this blessing.

Mie On Penang after 19 months

When I started blogging somewhere 2007, I managed to separate my working life and personal life as it was already quite balance. I refused then to blog so much about my working life as I was dealing a lot with housing problems - sales and purchase agreements, rehabilitation of abandoned housing projects, prosecutions of rogue developers etc. Looking back, if i was to compile all these work stories, it may be a bestseller hehehehe

Here in Penang, working life rules! So can't help lah selit-selit about work. Gosh ... I couldn't enjoy my weekends. Got calls on odd hours. Kadang-kadang tu teringin jugak tak dapat tidur malam sebab terbayang-bayang seseorang. Ni tidak, cannot sleep sebab worried work tak siap. Kadang-kadang wish jugak my heart pumping hard because nampak object yang "lazat" mata memandang. Ni tidak, jantung berdegup kencang sebab nampak no telefon yang tak lazat appeared on phone screen hahaha

Though I have all the priviledges of a state Director but at this age ... I think I deserve a good rest. Had been doing this when I was 41-44 officers. Btw, I hope the Housing Act amendment are being carried out smoothly ... it was already 80% complete when I left. Bukan nak take credit, but it was a team 4 people yang really think about it from 2009- april 2010 ... now semua left Ministry due to better offer. Hari-hari balik pukul 9 malam. But weekends ... sorang pun tak kacau.

Penang to be honest post quite a challenge for me to handle. The greatest pressure is actually how to be different or better than my predecessors. And in order to do that I need a good team. Adoh, when we first start-up, some posts were not being filled up. And ada pulak officer bermasalah yang dihantar ke opis aku. OMG! Ada yang sebok dengan DAP (Di Alam Percintaan), ada yang ada kes tatatertib, ada yang sebenarnya lari dari negeri asal sebab tak bayar kontraktor heheheheeh ... tapi after probing further some are actually mild and can be tackled easily. Masih better than one of the state directors who had to handle isu staff tiba-tiba hilang dari ofis sebab masalah pankreas atau gout stage kritikal. 

But the funniest incident was when my HR officer told me that one of the staff is a disable person. The description given was "no hand and leg". I almost had a heart attack. So what can she do? Dahlah staff tak cukup, bagi pulak sorang yang OKU takde tangan dan kaki I nak buat macam mana? So when I arrived in Penang, I checked sorang-sorang yang takde tangan dan kaki. Rupa-rupanya the staff hands and legs are slightly deformed but she still can do work but slow. Now, she is one of my best staff handling homestay and program pelancongan pelajar. And has longer list of beau than me hehehe

Throughout 2010, I had been through many trials and errors ... polishing my people skills, building bridges and linking cultures, and trying to adapt Ministry's policy into Penang settings. Coincidentally,  many of the programs and products introduced by Ministry or to be exact, my Lady Boss actually work in Penang. Sometimes, it's hard to tell the OTAI of tourism in Penang that the tourism scene has change and we need to change. Itu belum lagi those who think they know better than you huhuhu

Entering the tourism market now are the Gen X and Gen Ys, both as tourists and tourism players. At the end of the day, what we want to get from tourism are income, job opportunities and of course leisure. Domestic tourism must also work for both local and foreign tourists. I looked at the growth of our budget carriers. Their routes, not only it must encourage outbound but it must also bring inbound as well. I relooked at all the concrete structures implemented during 8th-9th Malaysia plan. Many of those had become white elephants as people just know how to build but dunno how to market and used it to it's fullest capacity.

I know many people dislike Dato' Seri Idris and his PEMANDU team. But having worked with him for a month I learned one very valuable lesson, if we can change the way we work, no matter how simple the idea is to create a big impact and transformed the industry, why not?

Feeling Suicidal?

A sad and horrific news yesterday prompted me to pen this entry. A second year student in one of the public universities in Sarawak committed suicide in the man made lake where my youngest sister used to take samples for her experiments. I don't know much about the deceased. But despite my religion teachings which against and condemn suicides, I pray to God for forgiveness of his sins and may his soul rest in peace. For whatever he did and what prompted him to do that, that will be between him and God. Best not to speculate, that the least we could do as a final respect.

I read the deceased blog and couldn't help but admire his writings. His English was superb. Actually 10 years ago, there was a similar incident happened in Kuching. Not far from my previous office in King Centre, a young Chinese guy around the age of 23 also commited suicide by inhaling exhaust fumes. Few days later, friends and family members published his writings - poems, songs which were beautifully written. And both in their last writings penned this down .... LIVING is HARD. It is sad that potential great writers like them decided to end their life stories with a tragic and devastating ending.

Note: Even scarier, Qing Ming is on April 5 this year. This news brought back a memory of another departing soul.

Again, though I disagree suicide as the final answer to one's misery but lately ... I too felt that life is getting tougher and harder to cope with. Keeping a positive (and sane) mind is taking too much energy and strength. Combine with  stress, insecurities, boredom and frustration is a clear recipe for potential suicidal concoction. Sometimes I wonder, am I the one complicating matters or people around me are just difficult (of course ... this is always the answer ... NEVER me but ALWAYS them hehehe).

2 days ago, a Singaporean tourist around the age of 70 came to my office, complaining that she was chased out from her hotel even though she paid her rentals. Then showed me police report that she lost her wallet and money. But when I offered to send her back to Singapore, she refused saying that she has a court case to attend. When I offered to call her family members, she refused saying that she doesn't want to trouble them.

Then she started crying telling us stories that she was being cheated by a property developer, then she fear for her safety as she felt some people want to kill her... the story went on and on and on. I had to stop her short ... rising my voice "So what do you want me to do?" 

"Actually, I don't know what and how you can help me?" was her answer.

To be honest ... this scene is nothing new to me. I saw family broken apart, blissful marriages ended up in ugly divorces, innocent men turned into murderers just because of abandoned housing projects. One time a man with parang came to my former office, just because his family threw him out because there was a delay in reviving his abandoned unit. My gut feelings told me ... there are more to it than just being thrown out of the hotel or stolen wallet.

Out of compassion, I called her niece in Singapore to confirm her mental state, then I called the tourist police to escort her to her hotel and get all her things, move her to another hotel, then I called her lawyer. It was from her lawyer that I got the whole picture and the source of her misery. Before the economic downturn in 1997 she invested about RM 300,000.00  in a timesharing program with a prominent Malaysian bank via their property arms in Penang. But then during the economic downturn, that saw the crashing of the Malaysian banking systems ...made her lost all her RM 300,000.00 investment. The property was later bought over by a new hotel company with new management. I don't know how about the buying over process but I was told that she was not listed as a creditor.

When I spoke to her niece, she told me that her aunt is a very independent woman. The last time she saw her, prior to her leaving for Penang, she seemed OK. However, the information that I got from hotels which allegedly kicked her out were the total opposite. She disturbed other guests, she always claimed her things were lost. There were times when we spoke ... she seemed OK and rational. But there were times when she broke down and keep repeating "Penang not good, Singapore better."

Deep down ... I knew that I am dealing with a very, very depress independent lady who has lost her mind over her back luck - money, property and maybe family. All alone ... in a foreign country.  Hmmm... truthfully I don't want to end up like her. Suddenly, I too felt that I should something with regards to my mental health.

Anyway, these are the findings on MENTAL HEALTH STATUS OF MALAYSIANS The 3rd National and Health Morbidity Survey (NHMS) from DHRRA website:

Findings :
•  Overall prevalence - 11.2% of adult population in Malaysia has some form of psychiatric morbidity, with the Chinese population experiencing the highest prevalence at 31.1%.
•  Gender - more females than males have psychiatric problems, with 55% of them females and 45% males.
•  Residence - psychiatric morbidity is higher among urban population than rural, 12.6% for urban population versus 8.5% for rural population.
•  Education level – it is higher among those with no education or primary education, 15-16% versus 10% for those with tertiary education.
•  Marital status – it is higher among the divorcees (13.6%); followed by singles (13.1%) widow/ widower (12.2%) and lastly those who are married (10.5%)
•    Suicidal ideation – overall prevalence of acute suicidal ideas of 6.4% with the highest among teenagers and young adults, aged 16-24 at about 11%.
•    Insomnia ( inability to sleep) – overall acute insomnia of 14% with those aged 70-74 having the highest prevalence of slightly over 20%.
 

The findings above, is an indication on state of mental health of adult population in Malaysia at the time of survey. It also does not pinpoint to any specific mental disorder. Measured over a longer period of time, the prevalence is much higher at 48.1% using the same screening tool ( chronic psychiatric morbidity). 

This measures the presence of symptoms over a continual or longer period of time. Chronic psychiatric morbidity is much higher among those with tertiary education and among senior officers and managers and among professionals. This could be due to the stress associated with heavier job responsibilities of these people.  (OMG!!!!)

Take care.

What Are You Made Of?

Sugar and spice and all that's nice?

Ok ... I was reading Norzah's entry last night A New Wave Rising of Expectation on uprising in African countries like Libya, Zimbabwe, Uganda, Cameroon and Senegal that saw one leader after another being ousted by common citizens.. The same is happening in the Saudi Arabia States of Bahrain and Yemen.

What triggered all this? 

Well that was the interesting part.  My humble comment was:

African countries (which coincidentally in these incidents happened to be Muslim countries) might have opened their mind like the people of the Great Republic of China. Suddenly they realise how rich their countries are in terms of natural resources, however many still live in poverty and hunger.

Leaders should realise that internet technologies have made the world seems smaller and nearer (information wise) and have ears. Education and awareness made the people of these countries more exposed on what's going on in the other "negara aman dan makmur".

As oppose to this:

The cause of an uprising seems simply the wish of people for a fair share of wealth, or a fair share of suffering and poverty. But I wonder if it is more to it. Where we see the current uprising I fear other players, interested parties are the unseenn hands in the game. Their objectives are not about sharing power, wealth and suffering.

This is all very scary because we cannot say we are above it.

 (this is the comment by blogger Al-Manar in Norzah's entry)

Or this:

We still don't know whether the uprising and the revolts are bringing the results expected by the people or they are just jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Our fear is that the interested parties whether local or foreign will waste no time to put a quick end to the ousted leaders ( who to say the least have maintained peace and stability in the countries concerned for years) in order to do what they could not get done all these years, This is especially so with regard to leaders who have all these while defied the western powers. If bombs and mortars could not get rid ot them, the new uprising or revolt is doing the work for them. We'll have to wait and see to know the truth, But the uprising seems to be catching on before we can evaluate who is gaining from the hellfire and bloodbath.

(Norzah's own comment)

Can you see the difference in the opinion?

Of course ... if we are to compare, my thinking level (including proficiency in English) of courseeee lahhhhhh NOT AT PAR dengan buah fikiran seorang ex-KSU, ex-KP MAMPU and seorang philosophical doctor. However, I am not going to elaborate about the uprising but rather the way I see things (or choose to see things. If you read carefully, you will see I usually angle my opinion with a little faith on the people, the system or a little idealistic thinking.

However, these past few days I began to ask myself ... how long can I pretend "blind" to the self interest, personal agenda, hypocrisy and greed that is lurking at the corners. And here in Penang, I sudah jelak with the word sensitive (or its derivation) cause all I am getting is sensitive skin from all the stress.  Hahaha... gosh I really need the laugh.

I remembered years ago, I put my heart and soul in salvaging a low medium cost abandoned housing project only to realise later that the residential area had become a perkampungan Mat Hitam. So much of helping the so call poor people.

So sugar and spice and all that's nice? (maybe for now)

Be Careful What You Wish For ...

Do you know that certain areas along the highway have great views?

I am on travelling mode again since beginning of the month and just came back from KL few days ago. As I was driving from KL to Penang in the wee hours of the morning (5.30 am) I remembered those years, working under Dr. P and cursing like nobody's business because he just could not let me out of his sights (and out of the office). And there I was monitoring states of Pahang, Terengganu and Kelantan from Kuala Lumpur, visualizing the projects progress from 7F reports and artist impressions on the brochures.

Now, since moving to MOTOUR, I am mostly outstation than in my office. Even when I was already back in the office, my meetings with NGOs and industry players were back to back. This month in particular, my punch card was like half empty ... CNY leave (Kuching), then Mallacca, then Lumut and then KL ... still I am cursing like nobody's business ... hahaha. Snapshots of some my journey this month.

@Seri Menanti, Negeri Sembilan

@Lumut Waterfront, Perak

@Botanic Garden, Melaka

 Be careful what you wish for ...

By the way, this is not my luck prediction. Mine's P&C but hehehe ... very lucky. To KK and Vincent dismay hahaha

Anyway I was inspired to share my thoughts about this topic after a successful program with Rapid Penang recently. We were testing some of Rapid Penang routes so that our team in Tourism Malaysia could promote it to tourists who prefer to travel with public transport in Penang, starting with route 101. So while stopping at the Siamese Temple, I decided to try out the wheel of fortune machine, which according to Vincent, my leader for Project Penang, the prediction is "very very true".

Vincent said that before I put in the coin and let the machine spin for my prediction, I should pray first and let some questions or wishes flashed through my mine. To be honest, I don't know why I was set of knowing what lies for me this year. Perhaps just a little reassurance? So in short these are some of my wishes and prayers ..

I wish for PINKEST of HEALTH ...(got some good prediction on that).

 

Bonding time with my family. Perhaps more family trips like this ... (we went to Haadyai last year). To be honest that trip was great. In fact CNY trip this year was great too. Everyone seemed relax and cool. I also had time to chill out with my friends in Kuching.

 I wish for great team in my office (plus great boss). Lady boss also seems more understanding lately.

I wish for more great friends (and colleagues). To be honest, it getting lonely "up" here. Thanks to BBM and outings like this. We could seek each others opinion and had our "bitching" time. Oppsss kantoi pakai baju sama!

I wish for less work related stress .. I know everyone knows about the issue related to the above project.  It was a real challenge for me, dealing with my management, the NGOs, the stakeholders. (BTW view was taken from the new furnicular train ... coming soon hehehe)

Ashton Kutcher's character in No String Attached - not Ashton himself. Susah akak nak jaga nanti. BTW, it was a great movie (must watch).

My wishes may be common and the usual but I think many always take that for granted (myself included). We wish for the stars when it was the sun and the moon that provide us the light. OK, my prediction readings didn't answer a VERY important question, instead it says ... something about travelling. Plus great luck this year. So contrary to my fengshui reading.

Anyway, I am rekindling with my passion with photography ... However, since I am also writing for my food blog, I noticed that most of the photos taken are mostly with my mind set for the other blog rather than this blog hahaha ... okaylah trying to adjust.

The Princess and The Froggie

Just my luck ... of all the days, Froggie chosed this day to "manja-manja" with me. And of all places, he chosed Shell station Datuk Keramat Road for our "romantic" rendezvous. Well to be honest, the guy who was pumping gas next door was kinda cute, but when I couldn't start my car ... dia buat tak tahu jer ... sialan! Menonong jer dia tinggalkan the damsel in distress.

Luckily abang Bangla was thoughtful enough asking Esso station owner next door if she sell any car batteries. The auntie even help to call Mr Ee, the 24 hours mechanic to the rescue (though I had to wait nearly an hour due to heavy rain).

Soon enough, Daddy also came to the petrol station just to see if everything was OK. Thank God he came.... else I terpaksa cari jalan yang "halal" untuk bayar service Mr Ee (tak dapek den nak bayangkan). I was short of RM 50.00 ... terpaksa borrow duit His Royal Highness The Emperor.

See, my Valentine's gift to Froggie. So romantic! With the date inscribed!

Mr Ee even paste his namecard on my windscreen in case of emergency. Here I share his contact information in case anyone got car problem in Penang. Sharing is caring! True Valentine spirit ...

Promosi "Back To Work" Telah Bermula ...

OMG ... these past few days were the most boring time of my life. Seriousssssly ... At first I thought maybe because it was Monday, my most not favourite day of the week (kalau ikutkan hari-hari pun tak favourite). Tapi kalau sampai hari ni masih liat nak buat kerja, something is wrong somewhere. Naturally, I will spend my time "connecting with people" on Facebook, wondering what they have been up to .. who knows I might find inspirations somewhere in the comments or the status.

To my dismay, most of my friends were discussing about their children first day at school ... how depressing (tik tok tik tok ... I could hear my biological clock ticking). But some posting I must say were quite interesting ... some posted photos of their kids's first day in class ... ada yang happy, ada yang meraung, ada yang muka kedak asam payak (so sour) ... hahaha

Then suddenly I remembered my own first day in school (hari2 mintak mummy iron baju) sampailah all the excitements of preparing for school. If you asked me what was the best part about going back to school .... well for me it would be buying toiletries (boarding school maaa) and stationery. I love being in a stationery shops and marveled at the mechanics of some stationery designs especially the ones which are from Japan, very practical.

So memandangkan akak cuma ada anak-anak ikan jer kat opis so semalam akak pun sibuk-sibuklah beli alat tulis untuk diri sendiri bagi memulakan tahun pekerjaan di 2011 at Popular Bookstore KOMTAR. To be honest, I don't like some of the stationery items supplied by my office. Although I have a say in the buying process but most of the time I let my admin staff do the ordering. I usually have special pens for signing and for writing. Hey, do you know that Lilian Too once said that good signing stroke can be very auspicious?

My signing pens.

Mesti suprise kan? Pen mahal tak semestinya memberi impak yang maksima dalam surat-surat anda. I love looking at people's signature sometime. Penting jugak signature tu nampak bold and bersesuaian dengan kedudukan dan pangkat si penandatangan.

My writing pens. Yang paling kanan pen Tourism Malaysia, latest addition.

When I was in school, friends always commented my handwriting as tulisan typewriter. If based on zodiac, Virgoans and Snake are supposed to be organised people. I don't see myself as the organise one (in terms of physical arrangement). Maybe more the organiser kot hahaha.

But to be honest, when I was in secondary school, my parents taught me to be thrifty but rewarded me once in a while. Though now I could afford to get myself an expensive Parker or Shaffer, I still reward myself with lots of Pilot pens (range between RM 3 to RM 15.00) instead. Sebabnya every time my dad came back to visit us or for holidays then, he always gave me a good Pilot pen and pesan, "This is a very good pen. Make sure you take care of it". Of course the continuous reminder that it cost him more than RM 10.00 sampai i takut betul lost the pen. Apatah lagi nak write with it.

Anyway, since I selalu kena ambik minit mesyuarat when I was in KPKT (at the same time training menulis dengan pantas for PTK) I grew fond of Stabilo Exam Grade Pen (harga RM 1.90 jer). Satu pagi yang hening, my favourite pen tiba-tiba hilang .... terusssssss akak buka kertas siasatan (IP) dan buat rakaman percakapan suspek-suspek utama tu sampai my EO that time Nasir said "Cik jaime ... cik Jaime ambiklah semua pen saya, saya tak rela jadi suspek utama". Hahahaha... (lama sebenarnya tak ketawa macam ni)

When I was little, there were 2 things that I disliked the most - my pencil sharpener and glue. Yelah, mummies would exercise their rights to "mummy knows best" when go shopping kan. .. Ingat tak dengan sharpener harga 20 sen yang ada cermin tu? That sharpener memang tak boleh pakai, kalau sharpen mesti pensil patah atau tak tajam. And then the 20 sen glue made of rice/starch. I really hate the stickiness and the mess that I made during Arts lesson using that glue ... u know masa cikgu ajar buat "collage". Even all those clear watery glue (mahal sikitlah around 80 sen). It makes the paper nampak lencun. But when I was in Form 4 and 5 ... wajib ada pencil sharpener yang ada cermin tu. Hahaha ... untuk tengok cute male classmates yang suka duduk belakang hahahaha (rear mirror) ... really miss my best buddy Sara.

Can you guess which one is for the thicker sheets of paper?

Taraaa .... Marvelous kan? Boleh masuk pencil case akak yang comel lagi hehehe

Aikkss ... high school icon lagi kah hehehe. Beli dulu pun nak simpan stationery for PTK exam. I remembered on first week in kindergarten I fought with my sister Joan (that time was 4) over my pink pencil case. My mum asked me to "mengalah to adik" and promised to buy me a new one. That weekend my mum bought me a new blue pencil case yang ada gambar gajah hahaha. Masa tu most kids maybe didn't know much about cartoon characters unlike now ... Ben 10 lah, Barbie lah

As I was going through my drawers and "courses bags" I found this memo pad calender that I bought in MPH bookstore. I almost forgotten about it.

Word of Wisdom for the month of January. Just what I need.

This one is for the month of February. Sindir aku ker?

As Penang State Government is enforcing the "No Plastic Bags" rule everyday ... I repeat everyday... so terpaksalah akak mula pegi shopping dengan bag-bag akak yang sungguh "chic" dan self promo nie hahaha .... so 1Malaysia Green and Clean and Malaysia Truly Asia gitewww ...

Last but not least, today is the 23rd birthday of my youngest sister Jayne Yvonne Bejit Yeoh ... Bejit is her unofficial Bidayuh name hahaha, in honour of her very very "lotsa jits" childhood. Happy birthday sis!

Ops Pisau Cukur 2011

Nak ketawa bila baca komen Norzah on FB (I am not sure which wall post) that goes ..." happy hunting J". Auwww terasa diri ini predator sangat. Tapi bagus juga encouragement tu. Nak tunggu being the hunted, rasanya the next 10 year i will be "haunting" instead of "hunting" hahahaaha

However a long pillow talk (until 4 am ) with my friends on Blackberry Messenger group conference, I realised my hunting operation need more than just domestic goddess training, total makeover and kewl gadgets. I have suspected it few months back after reading Oprah Winfrey's article in a Health Magazine but after chatting with my friends, it sort of affirm that my thyroid problem datang balik. But instead of being hyperthyroidism, it became hypothyroidism. I read some health articles on the Internet that hyperthyroidism may eventually lead to hypothyroidism. In my case I was no longer under medication and treatment since year 1998 and my last health screening in 2002 showed my thyroxine hormone was OK.

We were discussing about my friend's struggle on coping with his gf silent temper due to hypothyroidism. So I pun tercerita lah about my family and friends struggles with my studden change in behaviour, the confusions and heartaches they had to go through. That time I was in boarding school, my teachers thought I had disciplinary problems pulak ... you know sebab trouble sleeping at night I couldn't wake up sometimes and had trouble concentrating. I knew then I was not well but I was also confused with the illness. Until my Auntie Rose (mum's elder sister) helped me out as she too had the same problem. It turned out my other Auntie Rose (dad's elder sister) also had thyroid problems. Aiya ... I inherited the Roses genes rupanya.

Back to the pillow talks, as my friend explained further about the hypothyroidism symptoms ... I think my heart stopped beating for a while. I felt like I was being diagnosed. I sort of like mistaken my sudden weight gain/lost or mood swings as effects of stress and aging. I felt depress for no reasons sometimes ... again I blamed it on stress. But some other signs like dry skin, sleepiness, keletihan and tak tahan sejuk ... haiya that's it. I am going to get medical checkup by end of this week.

So as I waited for my "mood problem" to be solved by end of this week, yesterday afternoon I decided that I should start my domestic goddess training by cooking special dish for dad for lunch. Barulah terhegeh-hegeh nak carik buku resipi yang beli jer tapi tak pernah buka. Btw, I inherited another of the Roses gene ... passion for cooking!

Auntie Rose Penang really spoil me rotten here. I am soooooo the Princess here. Oh my Gucci!!! Sampaikan pegang senduk dan periuk pun dah rasa sangat janggal. Bagaimanapun bagi memastikan operasi ini berjalan lancar, selongkarlah mana-mana periuk belanga and kuali at our town house kitchen. Then I went to Chowrasta Morning market beli asam jawa and fresh kunyit/cili giling. Don't play play u know ... here in Penang, curry, rempah giling is sold by Chinese, with recipes handed down from generation to generation.

I decided to cook Red Snapper Gulai Assam Tumis for my dad, based on Auntie Rose recipe, which was handed down from my grandma who learned it from my great-grandma. Yes .... I am from Cina Peranakan family. One day I'll post photos of my great grandma in her baju panjang. I have tasted many so-called peranakan dishes by some so-called peranakan sellers but I wish to state here that Auntie Rose cooking is authentic Peranakan. Cukup segala rempah, pedas and what not. Sometimes it is not the elaboration in the cooking preparation ... it's the flavours!

The verdict: Dad loved it sooooo much and minta me to cook again. Yeaaaaa .... Jom kita memancing!