Tuesday, July 15, 2014

A Year In Brisbane

I had been wanting to update this blog since beginning of the Winter Semester Break. However, small little things caused me to procrastinate. One of it is ... I don't know what to write. The usual excuse, I know. As I read through my previous posts, how it was apparent to me how less and less creative I had been.

Having said that, I thank two courses last semester that inspired me to write again. I realised writing, particularly "reflective writing" is one of my strengths. In fact, it helped me through my courses this semester. It helped me to organise my throughts, provided me the "mission" and "aim" for my research and most important of all, ignite some passion on topics I find boring. I don't remember which famous classic actress that said this but it has something to do with "you need to fall in love a bit with your co-star in order to nail the love scene"... does it make sense?

I contributed "expectation not met" as one of the main reasons I seemed quite lost this one year. Despite many wonderful (as well as terrible) things happened throughout this one year .... it failed to give me the profound impact that urge me to write about it. I love sharing it on Facebook anyway. Yeaaa ... I find micro-blogging via Facebook stimulating. Maybe because I got feedback almost immediately.

Another reason, I have to admit, is I began to question the definition of friend. Do you really know your friend? I experienced a very sad situation recently that made me questions this. Is your friend a friend if he/she befriend you to dig your dirt and used it against you? I am not proud what I did in retaliation ... digging his/her dirt and used it against him/her. On top of that, prior to moving to Brisbane, my professional career expanded to a point that I began to witness "unwanted interest" on my personal life. 

The funny thing is ... my life is an open book, I shared almost everything on social media but looking at how a person mind can be distorted by self interest be it political, ego, religions etc etc ... I began to wonder about my honest intention to share about my life. I began to fear writing and sharing too much especially nowadays your good intention may be "misinterpreted" or turn into "accusation/lies". Looking at Malaysia and Malaysians today ... "whatever you say will be used against you". It is very sad as life used to inspire me with its many mysteries, the unknown and the possibilities. 

Coming back to this blog somehow reminded me on why I started it many years ago, and why many people visited it. I told myself, it was meant to share positive matters, issues, opinions plus happiness ... not ignite hatred, spreading malicious lies, or condemnation. I am a Malaysian, with a mind of my own and entitle to my opinion. You may agree or disagree with me.

I thank friends and readers of this blog for your support. I will restart again ... this time with renewed spirit and energy.


aters said...

No worries J... Life is like a wheelbarrow. Full of surprises but always heaviest when on top.

rambomadonna said...

Aters, thank you for the words of encouragement! I re-read many of my previous entries to remind me of my missions in life, finding my directions and reignite the passions that I have lost. Thank you for being a great friend! Plus thank you for inspiring my spiritual life (yea you and Nely especially).

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