Tuesday, May 11, 2010

A House Is Not A Home

This is my fourth week in Penang and although things are much much better now, I can't help but missing some of my works and life in my previous Ministry. Especially just now when my ex junior officers sought my help for some policy papers. Ideas flow like the river and my fingers typing the words like "Mozart on his grand piano".

Gosh ... I finally felt some self-worth after days of trying to cope with new job scope, technical jargons and understanding some policy with regards to public administration and accountancy. Terasa sangat-sangat lah tak layaknya jadi Pengarah hahaha. Like just now during training e-spkb at AG Penang, I was wondering what was this Pesanan Tempatan. Hahaha rupanya LO!

As I was relating my predicament to my senior EO, she told me that she also had the same problem during Mesyuarat Pembangunan. Until just now, she didn't know what the hell was VO or BQ. Kalau VOT or (Kew)8 paham lah hahaha

My first week, I need to absorb everything about government development projects. Second week, the practical application of Arahan Perbendaharaan and Treasury Circulars. Last week, Tourism Industry licensing and enforcement .... errr this one easy. I just need to get the work process from my licensing unit. This week, PKPA revisited ... By the way, semua ni self taught and self effort OK as too much was expected of me.

The thing is, I noticed that nobody in HQ seems to be able to give us a clear direction on few important matters and too preoccupied with their own works and problems. In a way, I couldn't blame them as I have seen that in my previous Ministry. Once the new unit being set up ... semua kerja yang tak settle campaklah kat new officers kat situ. At least I have been helpful to some of the officers ... providing them directions so that they can create their own SOP , MPK and Fail Meja to a point they became dependent pulak. Like now, what my senarai tugas pun I tak tahu.

Pity Ad and Encik Ghani ... terpaksa layan my "blurness". At least, I taklah seblur one super senior officer who asked Hatifah last week ... PTJ tu apa?

Though I have my dad and aunties are here with me, I couldn't turn to them for help and support. So each time I return home from work, I felt this urge to return to the solitude of my adobe in KL. Just throw my problems to the air. Maybe it's true wat people say ... home is where the heart is. And a house is not a home if .....

No naughty thoughts please. BTW, I love this Glee version (original by Luther Vandross).


norzah said...

A very succinct description of dealing with a new job and feeling the loss of an old one, and a very touching and sentimental song extolling the difference between a home and just a house.

What makes a home a home is not just people you love but also memories. Where there are strong and vivid memories written all over on the walls of a home, even the absence of some people doesn't matter. In fact it becomes part of the memories for you to cherish.

What you have to do is to fill the new abode with memories which you can cherish every time your return home.

rambomadonna said...

Well, sometimes new job with bigger responsibilities and perhaps better prospect can make you feel vulnerable at times. Especially when you felt that there so many things to cover and all the 8 years experience seems didn't prepare you for that. (;-;)

And my dad who is a hoarder has made my room like an antique store hehehe. I feel tempted nak lelong some of his stuff on lelong.com. Itu tak termasuk barang2 auntie2 I since I seldom balik.

Hmm ... wonder what type of memories nak masuk dalam bilik yang dah macam store room nie.

norzah said...

J. tinggal semula dgn dad dan aunties sesudah pernah sendirian, tentu menjadi cabaran. Kena belajar sharing space and values semula for you cannot have things your own way anymore. Ofis baru, rumah baru, kawan-kawan pun baru. Tentu takes time to adapt, hehehe.
Tentang memory apa yang nak diisikan dalam bilek U, how about asking your dad about the story behind the things that he hoarded? Pasti penuh cerita menarik. Tak lama lagi tentu ada orang-orang baru yang datang membaswa cerita baru, kenangan baru.

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