Wednesday, June 2, 2010

"It's a Man's Man's Man's World"

Wednesday ... is my Glee day and today's episode is about Funk. Unfortunately after a very hype episode on GaGa last week (till now I still can't get over the Glee Cast version of Bad Romance) ... this week's is a so-so. Sigh! Anyway, I am not going to elaborate on the plot or spill some spoilers especially to Jett who hasn't watched it yet (agik Begawai).

However one particular song hit me to the core. Coincidentally, something just happened recently and that song somehow explained to me what that "lady" was going through. Before I carry on further, let me explained that this song was performed by Quinn to vent her frustration of being an unwed teenage mother.

This is a man's world, this is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

You see, man made the cars to take us over the road
Man made the trains to carry heavy loads
Man made electric light to take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark

This is a man's, a man's, a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

Man thinks about a little baby girls and a baby boys
Man makes then happy 'cause man makes them toys
And after man has made everything, everything he can
You know that man makes money to buy from other man

This is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl

He's lost in the wilderness
He's lost in bitterness

Tersentuh jiwa seni dan kewanitaan akak masa mendengar lagu ni. But deep down I really want to urge that lady to move on with life. Recently divorced at the age of 50++, and her ex find replacement dengan kadar yang segera, not worth hanging on to. Plus, I sensed that the marriage was already on the rocks when she kept complaining that her ex couldn't provide this, give that and don't care about her. Pendek kata takde yang sempurna lah di mata dia pasal laki dia nie. But when her ex filed for divorce, suddenly she find her world turned upside down.

I felt for her, honestly I do. But like the song said ... it's a man's world. No matter how right or how much a woman sacrifice in a relationship or how hard they work to bring bread to the table, when we start demanding our rights and did something that we think fair ... we still end up losing. Even if the man is cheating or being unfaithful ... due to so called "family" or "age" reasons, many women decided to save the marriage when we know it's like signing your death certificate.

Paling I tak puas hati lah ... this common statement ... kena "bagi" apa and bila suami nak, so jangan terkejut bila suami cari lain. Gosh!

Other than that women life or outlook in life are very much affected by age factor! Kawin lambat susah, beranak lambat susah and divorce at late age pun susah. I also found out that some wealthy Chinese patriarch in the olden days let some of their daughters remained unwed so that they can take care of them in their older days

I am not a feminist, and I do believe in second chance. However, I have to agree with an article in a magazine that said women tend to revolve their life around a man or someone that means dearly to them like children. Like ... I must look good for this man so that he is happy. I must be like this or like that for this man so that he is please. I need to work hard so that I can pay for children education. I love this idea better ... look good not to please but to make yourself feel good. When you feel good, you make people around you and in your life also feel good. Of course productivity (in financial and sexual sense) will look good. And finally ... Life's Good (LG tagline).

This entry has nothing to do with the FEEL GOOD channel hehehe!


norzah said...

Mannn...! I feel like being put on the carpet myself,J, for a thorough search or examination. Am I being unfair on the fairer sex, always putting the lady(ies?) down and not the other way around, giving her no alternative? But Quinn is right. Man could have made the cars, the electric lights, the toys, but without a woman or a girl, he would be nothing. Even monks (and nuns too) have problem, though the Lord is all that they care for.
No, I don't think girls should take everything lying down.... (wink) Look at Oprah, Liz Taylor, Paris Hilton, feed from their hands. Mariah Carrey allowed the man to climb on her (literally?) and suffer mentally. You don't have to be filthy rich or a stunning beauty to do that. Look at the Japanese girl who married a Beetle (can't recall the names). Some ladies are said to control even a PM or a President. What weapon or secret recipe do they use? I've heard some people say: "Know your man and you can have him feeding from your hands." Unfortunately the saying: "The way to a man's heart is through his stomoch," no longer holds because there're so many restaurants serving heavenly food.You don't have to "beri" all the time if you realize that "memberi" in many cases is also "menarik" atau "menerima", hehehe. Keeping unmarried daughters nowadays does not ensure that they'll take care of you when you're old and krepot. Tentang men curi-curi makan luar, there're many stories to show that the other party also like to curi-curi one. Masalahnya man memberi yg tak habis, girl menerima yg boleh mengubah corak hidup. Kesimpulannya, aside from what is written in the book of destiny, tepuk dada tanya selera. Kalau tumbang ikut hati sendiri kena bangun sendiri, kalau ditumbangkan ada tangan yang akan menarik bangun semula dengna senyuman penyejuk jiwa. Eh, eh, rasa buat novel pulak.

rambomadonna said...

Norzah: U dah lama dah kena "search" and "examined" thoroughly heheheh. So I won't comment about whether or not u are being fair and unfair to the fairer sex. Hanya certain person saja yang tau ... Hehehehe

Anyway, I don't deny that some women even control a President or a PM. But if you scrutinised closely, no matter how tightly that prominent leaders being control ... "she" still couldn't control what's going on "under table" hehehe

But loosen up the "tight" knot may even resulted in greater lost for her. One part, it is not easy to start all over without swallowing their pride or consuming a lot of energy/determination. Another part, it may not be easy to compete with younger, sexier and better looking girls. Like this lady, even battling "hot flushes" due to menopause need a lot of willpower. Apatah lagi finding a new partner.

About curi makan luar, hmm do you know that the repercussion is greater on women if dia makan luar compared to men? Jarang lah a man will terima a woman balik if dia dah curang. Baik aku cari lain ...

But women, again as explained in my entry ... sometimes sebab anak2 atau susah nak cari pasangan baru ... terpaksa terima jugak "a cheating spouse".

Talking about that, I have to salute one woman I know that not only she has to accept an ailing cheating husband but "illegal by products" of union with so many "other women". Jaga sebagai anak sendiri pulak tu. Phewww !!! Well ... that is not what I meant when I wrote the entry.

My idea was, I am agreeing to the song. This is a man's world. And no matter how much a woman fight for equality be it in work or relationship ... at the end of it ... even if she is winning the argument, it is just a short term victory, but in long term she is losing to life. Contohlah in that lady's case.

rambomadonna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
norzah said...

Ada double entry nampaknya, J. Deletelah satu. So ypu believe in the song, it's a man's world. I'm not sure coz ladies are increasingly gaining grounds. In research work, in admin, mass media, studying at the U, everywhere I see them gaining the majority. If you fight life, especially beside a man, maybe you'll loose.
But if you build your own foundation than get a man and share a life with him - I meam share, not compete for authority - both of you will win. Maariage can be a win-win situation, not a zero sum game. Want to argue some more? Hehehe.

rambomadonna said...

I know I am walking on a dangerous ground by posting this entry. Hehehe

Anyway, I think you may look at things at macro level about this "it's a man's world" thing. You shall say I seeing it at micro level. U know, what truly lies beneath. HUHUHUHU

I don't deny many women now hold big positions and successful careers. That's on the exterior. Without an understanding spouse, that would be very hard. U see, women are emotional being. When they want things done their way, or the need to get what want is so much to bear, they tend to be demanding.And that, may cost their marriage or relationships.

Anyway, this is also not the point of the entry. U see, in Glee ... the character Quinn was a Cheerleader, the most popular girl in school, from a rich family, got a football captain as a boyfriend. Then one day, she found herself pregnant, by another man who happens to be her boyfriend's best, who raped her when she was drunk.

To make matter worse, she was a B*tchy person in school, so she tricked her BF that the baby was his. But her BF later found out and fell in love with someone else. Then she was disowned by her family, expelled from cheerleading team and became an outcast in school.

So, she decided to give up the baby but the baby's dad disagree. However, though Quinn tried to him a chance he still couldn't let go of his philandering ways.

That's why she sang this song. And after witnessing what happen to this lady, I pun agree with this song.

norzah said...

In the light of the Quinn character's experience in Glee, I would agree with the song, J. The transition path from a popular, beautiful and rich Cheerleader to a school and family outcast is really pathetic. Yet, the traumatic experience turned the character into a popular singer - another lesson to learn in life. Bad experience had its brighter side, hehehe. OK, I agree its' a man' world but without the women and the girls, the world would be empty, lonely and barren. And there're men who suffered like the Quinn character after being deserted by the wife or girlfriend. The late Hani Mohsin was one, Sudirman was another, even TS Lim Kok Wing. Some chose never to marry again after a terrible letdown. Remember Tom Jone's song "The Green, Green Grass of Home"? The lover killed sweet Mary because she deceived him and he was heart-broken , choosing the hangman's noose rather than live on and forget her. Well, there're two sides to the coin and without one side the other is useless.Right.? So, I think even a macro perspective must be balanced up. Do I sound like the devil's advocate? Better be so than the devil himself, hehehe.

rambomadonna said...

True. But the late Hani Mokhsin's career "naik" jugak after that, look at Sudir ... after his divorce he bounced annd became one of asia best entertainer. TS Lim Kok Wing ... his uni college school fee per semester already more than my annual salary hehehe.

DS Tiara faced a lot of setbacks too you know. Despite marrying man with money, it also took her many many years and a big movie flop to get her to where she is now.

norzah said...

Sure,j, but look at the macro picture , as u suggested; the final outcome is AOK. I'm often persuaded to think that a traumatic experience produces better result than a happy one. In Islam Allah promises: behind every calamity there's a blessing; also ' the end of anything is better than the beginning.' I cheer myself with those promises when things don't work my way, hehehe.

rambomadonna said...

That's the wonderful thing of being a man. Men bounced back faster than women these days. Few years back a research showed the other way round. Maybe things are different nowadays.

Men nak kawin lagi or find a new partner after a collapse marriage memang cepat. Women despite getting the alimony tapi taboo sebagai janda lekat sampai bila2.

That's why I told the lady to do the same.

norzah said...

Eeeh, banyak janda riding on top of the world, J. They can turn men upside down, kalau mau. Cuma yg jujur, beriman dan lebih suka menangisi nasib dan mohon belaskasihan Allah yang selalu derita: kerana derita itu ujian Allah pada yg dijkasihi.

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